How to Focus on What Matters
The world is consumed by conflict and chaos right now, and it’s easy to get swept up in it. Working with my clients lately on how to focus on and accomplish the things that matter most to them has naturally had me doing the same with myself. To draw from a story about Mahatma Gandhi that I have always held close, I will not ask a child to give up sugar without first giving up sugar myself. So, I’ve made some key changes in perspective and how I relate to the news, social media, and my phone, and the results have been phenomenal and sustainable.
First is holding the perspective that I’m not going to let what is happening in the world stop me from being fully who I am and pursuing what’s important to me, including having a positive impact on my community and supporting the people with whom I’m closest.
Second, in support of the first, I have deleted news apps from all of my devices, limiting my news exposure to a single daily podcast (“Up First” by NPR). This gives me awareness of essential developments in limited doses without endless scrolling through the torrent of sensationalized headlines and details designed to upset me and hold my attention in a state of distraction and confusion. I know I will find out about what I really need to know one way or another.
Third is having deleted social media apps from my phone, eliminating the unintentional, habitual opening of these apps and losing untold hours to scrolling. I can still use them on my laptop or an old iPad, and my use is deliberate and brief, usually once or twice a day for a few minutes.
Fourth is having disabled the sound and vibration of text messages and other notifications, which are few after over a year of work reducing distractions from my phone. I check for messages a few times a day, when I choose to, instead of whenever there is a ding or a buzz.
Fifth is having set my phone screen to black and white. A lot of the dopamine triggers designed into these devices and apps are linked to color. My phone now feels like a simple tool to get a handful of useful things done (messaging family/friends/clients, managing my calendar, navigating with maps, listening to music, etc.) rather than a shiny toy.
The last three changes above were drawn from the book How to Break Up with Your Phone by Catherine Price, which I highly recommend. The combination of them dropped my phone use by half in the first day, and then half again each week for the following couple weeks. My average daily phone use has dropped from 4.5+ hours to between 1 and 1.5 in the past month. I have gotten back 3+ hours/day that I am using to engage in activities I’ve determined are important to me (reading, making music, etc.) instead of whatever is grabbing my attention in the moment, to accomplish tasks I had wanted to but couldn’t seem to ever get to, to be more present with my family and friends, and to just relax and daydream. My stress and anxiety levels are significantly lower, too.
If you or someone close to you is struggling with burnout or an unsustainable amount of stress from the chaotic state of the world and are willing to explore what changes could work for you in order to recover the time and attention you want to focus on what truly matters to you, let’s connect and have a conversation.
